Divorce rates among couples 50 and older have more than doubled since 1990 — and nearly tripled among couples 65 and older. Today, roughly a third of all divorces in the U.S. involve someone over 50. It’s become common enough to have its own name: “gray divorce.” But unlike splitting up in your 30s, there’s far less time left before retirement to rebuild what gets divided. Here’s what the financial damage actually looks like, and the checklist AARP recommends to protect yourself.

1. What Is “Gray Divorce” and Why It’s Different From Divorcing Young

“Gray divorce” refers to couples who divorce at age 50 or later, often after decades of marriage. It’s one of the fastest-growing categories of divorce in the country, and the reason it deserves its own financial playbook is simple: when you divorce in your 30s, you generally have 25-plus working years ahead of you to recover financially. When you divorce at 60 or 65, you may have only a handful of working years left — or none at all — before you need your retirement savings to actually support you.

2. The Real Financial Damage, by the Numbers

Standard of living takes a hit — especially for women

Research from Bowling Green State University, cited by AARP, found that a gray divorce cuts a woman’s standard of living by about 45% on average, compared to about 21% for men. That gap alone is a reason financial planning during the divorce process matters more than either spouse may initially realize.

Retirement accounts get split — from an already thin base

Splitting retirement accounts in half sounds straightforward, but it’s compounded by a harder truth: nearly half of all households age 55 and older have no retirement savings at all. For couples who do have savings, cutting that nest egg in two can mean each person is suddenly working with a fraction of what they’d planned to retire on.

One household’s expenses become two

Rent or a mortgage, utilities, insurance, and everyday costs that used to support one household now have to stretch across two — even as each person’s share of the income is smaller than before. It’s a simple math problem that catches a lot of people off guard.

3. Social Security: The Benefit Most People Don’t Realize They Keep

Divorced-spouse benefits

If your marriage lasted 10 years or longer, you may be able to claim Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse’s earnings record — even if they’ve since remarried. Claiming this benefit does not reduce what your ex-spouse or their current spouse receives.

How this differs from survivor benefits

This is a different benefit from the survivor benefits available to widows and widowers (which we cover in our guide on losing a spouse). Divorced-spouse benefits are available while both people are still alive; survivor benefits only come into play after a spouse or ex-spouse has passed away.

Don’t treat it as a bonus you’ll figure out later

Because this benefit depends on the length of the marriage and your ex’s earnings record, it needs to be factored into settlement planning up front — not discovered as an afterthought once the divorce is already finalized.

4. Health Insurance After a Gray Divorce

If you were covered under your spouse’s employer health plan, that coverage typically ends once the divorce is finalized. You generally have two paths:

• COBRA lets you temporarily stay on the same employer plan, but you now pay the full premium yourself — often significantly more expensive than what you were used to.
• ACA marketplace plans through Healthcare.gov are frequently the more affordable bridge, especially for anyone not yet eligible for Medicare at 65.

5. Splitting the House and Long-Term Care Planning

The family home: sell it or keep it?

In most gray divorces, the family home ends up being sold, with proceeds divided between both spouses. Before deciding to keep it instead, run the actual numbers — property taxes, maintenance, insurance, and upkeep on a single income can quietly outweigh the emotional value of staying put.

A hidden cost: losing your presumed future caregiver

It’s easy to overlook, but many long-married couples silently assume their spouse will be their caregiver later in life. A gray divorce removes that assumption, which means long-term care insurance or a budget for paid care later on needs to become part of the financial plan, not an afterthought.

6. Quick Decision Guide: Which Situation Are You In?

Use this to figure out which sections above matter most for your specific situation:

• Married 10+ years, ex-spouse hasn’t remarried (or has, but you’re the one still divorced): Confirm your divorced-spouse Social Security eligibility before finalizing the settlement — see Section 3.
• Married under 10 years: You won’t qualify for divorced-spouse Social Security benefits, so retirement account division and your own earnings history matter even more.
• Currently on a spouse’s employer health plan and under 65: Compare COBRA vs. an ACA marketplace plan before coverage lapses — see Section 4.
• Considering keeping the family home: Run the maintenance-cost math from Section 5 before committing, not after.
• Receiving alimony: Make sure you’re named beneficiary on the paying spouse’s life insurance policy (see checklist below) so payments are protected if something happens to them.

7. The AARP-Recommended Financial Checklist

• Gather tax returns and full account documentation before negotiating anything
• List every retirement, investment, and insurance account, along with current balances
• When dividing brokerage holdings, divide the actual holdings rather than cashing out first, to avoid triggering unnecessary capital gains taxes
• Pull and review your credit reports
• Weigh ongoing alimony payments against a larger one-time asset settlement — the right choice depends on your age and how much you trust future payments
• If you’re receiving alimony, make sure you’re named beneficiary on the paying spouse’s life insurance policy
• Update every beneficiary designation and your will immediately after the divorce is finalized
• Secure court orders locking in beneficiaries on any 529 college savings plans for shared children or grandchildren

8. Get Professional Help Before It Gets Expensive

Mediators, financial planners, and tax attorneys are almost always far less expensive than contested litigation, and they can help you think through the Social Security, retirement account, and tax questions above before decisions become permanent. If you’re looking for lower-cost legal help, our guide on finding free or low-cost elder law attorney assistance is a good place to start.

The Bottom Line

Gray divorce is financially different from divorcing young, mainly because there’s so much less time to rebuild before retirement. The good news is that most of the biggest risks — missed Social Security benefits, gaps in health coverage, an underfunded retirement account, or an outdated beneficiary designation — are all things you can catch and fix if you know to look for them before the paperwork is final.